An idea I had seems to have taken root in other people’s minds and now I have to tend to the myriad bushes that have sprung.

My days are packed with work far more than they have been in the past two years or so. I’ve had spurts of intense work, but none as long and as intense as this. I feel productive and drained, creative and stressed. I add to a never ending list of entries to my todo list and feel that I can never catch up.

My time with Maya sometimes suffers because I feel torn between my mind running in one direction and hers running in another as she calls “Papa”. Shanthala is trapped in the similar world. Some days, it feels like we’re both sealed inside separate glass chambers, able to see each other and calling out, slamming our hands against the glass, seeking attention. We see the mouth move, but our ears hear no sound.

I picked a page at random from Tony Hoagland’s book of poems titled “Sweet Ruin” and I came across this poem that taught me how I could pencil in pleasure into my todo list.

Down near the bottom
of the crossed-out list
of things you have to do today,

between “green thread”
and “broccoli”, you find
that you have pencilled “sunlight”.

Resting on the page, the word
is beautiful. It touches you
as if you had a friend

and sunlight were a present
he had sent from somewhere distant
as this morning – to cheer you up,

and to remind you that,
among your duties, pleasure
is a thing

that also needs accomplishing.
Do you remember?
that time and light are kinds

of love, and love
is no less practical
than a coffee grinder

or a safe spare tire ?
Tomorrow you may be utterly
without a clue

but today you get a telegram
from the heart in exile,
proclaiming that the kingdom

still exists,
the king and queen alive,
still speaking to their children,

- to any one among them
who can find the time
to sit out in the sun and listen.    – The Word, Tony Hoagland

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