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Poems For Little Darlings

Reading The Drowsy Hours

Poetry has been a great source of comfort and joy to me recently. When it came to reading to Maya, however, I had pretty much stuck to reading stories i.e. prose. The only poetry she may have encountered were nursery rhymes. When she expressed what I thought was joy on reading a poem to her recently, I was intrigued and thought to read her poetry along with stories. But what poems ? Were there any that are written for children ? And if they are, how good were they ? Were they better than nursery rhymes ? What constituted good poems for children ?

It was as I was reading Dr. Seuss’ Cat In The Hat that I realized that what Maya enjoyed was the sound of the words: the cadence, the inflections, the way the words sounded when strung together and the way it was read. I also wanted to read poems that would grow with her, poems that would ingrain in her a love of language, demonstrate how imagination can give flight to words and words can fuel imagination till together, there is just pure joy in reading the work. Now, did such works exist ?

I first heard of Robert Louis Stevenson’s “A Child’s Garden of Verse” as I listened to Bill Moyers’ interview of W.S. Merwin. I ran into a reference to it in another book of poems. I checked out the book from the local library and together, Maya and I fell in love with the poems. From the very first poem, “Bed in Summer”, the book grabbed us.

In winter I get up at night
And dress by yellow candle-light.
In summer quite the other way,
I have to go to bed by day.

I have to go to bed and see
The birds still hopping on the tree,
Or hear the grown-up people’s feet
Still going past me in the street.

And does it not seem hard to you,
When all the sky is clear and blue,
And I should like so much to play,
To have to go to bed by day?

The poems were imaginative, well written enough to be enjoyed by an adult, but reflected the fantasies and the world of a child. Delightful verses abound:

I saw the dimpling river pass
And be the sky’s blue looking-glass;
The dusty roads go up and down
With people tramping in to town.        – from Foreign Lands

One morning, very early, before the sun was up,
I rose and found the shining dew on every buttercup;
But my lazy little shadow, like an arrant sleepy-head,
Had stayed at home behind me and was fast asleep in bed.   – from My Shadow

Dark brown is the river,
Golden is the sand.
It flows along for ever,
With trees on either hand.

Green leaves a-floating,
Castles of the foam,
Boats of mine a-boating–
Where will all come home?                                         – from Where Go The Boats ?

Among the 65 or so poems in the book are long poems such as “Travel” and 4 line poems such as “Rain” and even 2 line poems such as “The Happy Thought”. The verse is first class, but they always reflected a child’s world, a world of trees, fantasies and play. Stevenson was sick for much of his childhood (what it was is still open to debate, with diagnosis ranging from tuberculosis to sarcoidosis). Many of his poems such as “The Land of Counterpane” reflect the life of a sick child. He was cared for by a nurse, Alison Cunningham. Her tender care so defined his childhood that he dedicated the “Child’s Garden of Verse” to her, writing:

From the sick child, now well and old,
Take, nurse, the little book you hold!

And grant it, Heaven, that all who read
May find as dear a nurse at need,
And every child who lists my rhyme,
In the bright, fireside, nursery clime,
May hear it in as kind a voice
As made my childish days rejoice!

Maya wants me to read the book starting with the dedication and reading the first twenty or so poems. Consequently, she (and I) hasn’t yet gotten to reading the later poems. “Papa, dhodu book odhu, from her boy” she says, “from her boy” being the title of the dedication (To Alison Cunningham From Her Boy). The copy that I have is beautifully illustrated by Michael Foreman, though Maya hardly glances much at them.

Reading the poems such as “The Lamplighter” or even “Bed in Summer” provide a glimpse of what life was like in those pre-electricity days. Poems like “A Thought” reflect the religious fervor with which his nurse raised him.

Once we were hooked on these poems, I sought out other books of poems for little children. I thus ran into The Drowsy Hours, a collection of 16 poems meant for bedtime reading. The collection has some superb poems starting with this one, called Nightfall by Barbara Juster Esbensen:

One by one
that dark magician
Night
folds the colors of the day
like scarves
and hides them
in his sleeves

There are so many other wonderful poems such as “Wynken, Blynken and Nod” by Eugene Field, The Starlighter by Arthur Guiterman, The Gentle Giant by Dennis Lee and Manhattan Lullaby by Norma Farber. Here is an excerpt from The Mouse by Elizabeth Coatsworth:

I heard a mouse
Bitterly complaining
In a crack of moonlight
Aslant on the floor —

“Little I ask
and that little is not granted
There are few crumbs
In this world any more.

The breadbox is tin
and I cannot get in.

The jam’s in a jar
That my teeth cannot mar.”

Some of the poems in these two books are so melodious that they have been set to music. For example, a quick search of Wynken, Blynken and Nod yields several Youtube videos of popular artists performing the poem.

Now, I alternate playing music and reading poetry to her as part of her bedtime ritual.

My only wish with reading these to her is to get her to appreciate the intermingling of imagination and language. Merwin says in the aforementioned interview: “Its very important if their parents can read to them. And not just read prose, to read poetry. Because listening to poetry is not the same as listening to prose. And those children who’ve grown up hearing a parent reading poems to them are changed by that forever. They have it forever. They always have that voice.  They always hear it. Always able to hear it“.

Three

Here it is once again this one note
from a string of longing

the same note goes on calling
across space and is heard
in the old night and known there
a silence recognized
by the silence it calls to             – W.S. Merwin (from Calling A Distant Animal)

I felt this day coming at me from a long time ago. Why, I don’t know. I felt an anxiety, a heightened anticipation, a little like some forthcoming important finals.

And then when we returned last night from our Canadian vacation, I realized that coming back from a vacation to an empty home was still an alien feeling. Its been three years to the day, sweet Kitty, that we’ve returned to the house of no you. The anxiety was my body trying to cope with this fact. And today, I was randomly turning the pages of Merwin’s collection of luminous verse, “The Shadow of Sirius” when the poem sprang at me. Reminding me. Of that note of longing, for a glimpse of orange fur, for the smell of cat lick and bath scent that was uniquely yours, for the feel of your soft fur, the sweet sound of your meow and the purr that reminded me that I was home.

The third year of no you has been a far better one than the previous two. Hardly a day has gone by when I haven’t thought of you, you walking flea condo, but I’ve mostly thought of you with a smile on my face, not the tears that were the hallmark of the two years before. If the smile suddenly turned wistful, it was because I remembered my now unrequited dream of Maya knowing you and you knowing her.

When I ask Shanthala what she wants to say on this day, she just cries. I still miss him so, she whispers.

Friends ask me if we’ll let another cat adopt us. I say I don’t know. I still haven’t gotten past that.

Now you are darker than I can believe
it is not wisdom that I have come to
with its denials and pure promises
but this absence that I cannot set down   – W.S. Merwin (from Night with No Moon)

Some nights, when I’m holding Maya, my hands remember the way you curled next to me, adjusting them till you were content. Some nights, when I hear her sigh in her sleep, my ears recall the way you sighed, your purr stopping just before you feel asleep. And when she calls to me at midnight, when I’m away from her, I’m haunted by the memory of how you came seeking me, meowing your unhappiness at my not being in bed at that late hour.

But where I was bereft, I’m now more grateful for our times together. I loved you so much, I love you as much even now. If there is one thing that we the living, can ask of absent friends like you, it is this.

o closest to my breath
if you are able to
please wait a little longer
on that side of the cloud                     – W.S. Merwin (from Into the Cloud)

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Nomad Flute: The Poetry of W.S. Merwin

One afternoon, when grief still hurt but not like bright sunlight, when parenting was just a synonym for exhaustion, a voice came out of the radio. An older voice, a voice that felt like it had known grief and beauty, love and loss. The voice said:

Almost to your birthday and as I
am getting dressed alone in the house
a button comes off and once I find
a needle with an eye big enough
for me to try to thread it
and at last have sewed the button on
I open an old picture of you
who always did such things by magic
one photograph found after you died
of you at twenty
beautiful in a way
I would never see
for that was nine years
before I was born
but the picture has
faded suddenly
spots have marred it
maybe it is past repair
I have only what I remember

The last line was the jolt of caffeine, stirring me from my slumber of exhausted days. He was saying what I had been struggling with since Kitty’s death: that I’d lose Kitty again once my memories of him started to fade. I have only what I remember. He was giving voice to what I fight even now in my time with Maya. It’ll not be long before I’ll not remember all her baby things, the way she is now. I have only what I remember.

The voice belonged to William Stanley Merwin and he read a poem “A Likeness” from his recent collection of poems, The Shadow of Sirius. Two other poems that he read aloud in the interview made me head to the local library for a copy.

Poems and lines flew off the page, lodging themselves in my brain in a way that few poems have.

part memory part distance remaining
mine in the ways that I learn to miss you
From what we cannot hold the stars are made – from Youth

Time unseen time our continuing fiction
however we tell it eludes our dear hope and our reason – from Secrets

As those who are gone now
keep wandering through our words – from The Morning Hills

Like William Stafford, a poet who I’ve often written about, his poems are meditations. A few words of it and I am a willing vessel, ready to carry whatever the day has to offer.

W.S. Merwin

(Image from flickr, thanks to cpacker66).

I obtained a collection of Merwin’s works called Migration. The book stayed with me all through the nine weeks it takes before the book must be returned to the library. After two more withdrawals from the library, I finally purchased the book.

Merwin’s poems run the gamut of human emotions and subjects. He can write just about being:

I believe in the ordinary day
that is here at this moment and is me
I do not see it going its own way
but I never saw how it came to me – from A Momentary Creed

Of the moment when we’re more alive than the sum of all the other days:

The trouble with pleasure is the timing
it can overtake me without warning
and be gone before I know it is here
it can stand facing me unrecognized
while I am remembering somewhere else – from One of the Butterflies

He can write about the beauty that we live immersed in, say a raindrop:

touch me this time
let me love what I cannot know
as the man born blind may love color
until all that he loves
fills him with color – from To The Rain

About the sorrow at an animal’s coming extinction:

Gray whale
Now that we are sending you to The End
That great god
Tell him
That we who follow you invented forgiveness
And forgive nothing – from For A Coming Extinction

Or of the loss of a rainforest:

I want to tell what the forests
were like
I will have to speak
in a forgotten language – from Witness

Or of the attraction of war:

When the war is over
We will be proud of course the air will be
Good for breathing at last
The water will have been improved the salmon
And the silence of heaven will migrate more perfectly
The dead will think the living are worth it we will know
Who we are
And we will all enlist again – from When The War is Over

Or of fairy tales, mystical one:

Stories come to us like new senses
a wave and an ash tree were sisters
they had been separated since they were children
but they went on believing in each other
though each was sure that the other must be lost – from Recognitions

Or of a lifetime spent together:

Let me imagine that we will come again
when we want to and it will be spring
we will be no older than we ever were
the worn griefs will have eased like the early cloud
through which the morning slowly comes to itself
and the ancient defenses against the dead
will be done with and left to the dead at last
the light will be as it is now in the garden
that we have made here these years together
of our long evenings and astonishment – from To Paula in Late Spring

The words, their arrangement. I want to hold them, running each one slowly through my mind, luxuriating in them. I want to be ensconced in them.

Very early on, Merwin let go of all punctuation in his poems. Read like this, eyes searching for the breaks, his poems take on an almost mystical quality, a freshness that never disappears. For example, consider the opening lines from the poem, The Emigre:

You will find it is
much as you imagined
in some respects
which no one can predict
you will be homesick
at times for something you can describe
and at times without being able to say
what you miss
just as you used to feel when you were at home

You can read a break after “in some respects”, reiterate that line and finish the rest of the stanza with one message. You can read a break after “imagined” and the poem reads well again. You can read a break after “predict” and the still the poem reads well. Each echoes a slightly different nuance of the same theme. Reread the two lines from “Secret” quoted above and you can play a similar game.

Merwin was born in the early years of the past century (how long ago it sounds, when I say ‘past century’). He came of age during WWII and enlisted in the army at age 17. Then, he realized what war meant and became a pacifist and refused to fight in the war. A crime for which he was sent to a mental institution. When I heard that, I was shocked. Here were a people, calling themselves the denizens of the greatest country in the world, thinking it was insane that someone refused to kill on order. Stafford too had refused to fight the same war and had been sent to a labor camp for that. In 1971, Merwin donated the money from his first Pulitzer Prize to fighting the draft, against the Vietnam War.

He eschwed a life in the academia and instead went to study Zen Buddhism in Maui and stayed back. He lives in a solar powered home that he built with his wife, Paula Schwartz, on an abandoned pineapple farm. He also worked to restore the neighboring rainforest of palm trees. He writes on scraps of paper with a pencil. He says that writing on a fresh sheet of paper or a typewriter is too much pressure to produce something deep and meaningful. With scraps of paper, anything is good. Stafford said similar things.

His poems, like Stafford’s, come from a place that lives on ideas like these, ideas of non-violence, ecology, a deep communion with all things alive, of living well and dying well. The sound of those poems stirs something deep in me, something that I cannot always access directly, but must come by obliquely.

Merwin’s output is prodigious by any standard: 25 volumes of just poetry. He also has nearly two dozen books of translations, 8 works of prose, and a memoir, “Summer Doorways.”. His output is also as varied as you can imagine.  Migration, a collection of his poems from 1952 to 2005, contains poems that are just a single line and poems that span double digit pages. He has written an entire novel in verse, The Folding Cliffs, about the history and legends of Hawaii.

In his interview with Bill Moyers, Merwin says: “… poetry always comes out of what you don’t know. And with students I say, knowledge is very important. Learn languages. Read history. Read, listen, above all, listen to everybody. Listen to everything that you hear. Every sound in the street. Every bird and every dog and everything that you hear. But know all of your knowledge is important, but your knowledge will never make anything. It will help you to form the things, but what makes something is something that you will never know. It comes out of you. It’s who you are.” Watch the whole interview. I found it a fascinating commentary on a life and the writing process.

These days, I’m a thief. I steal time. Mostly from Maya and Shanthala, but also from work, from all that calls to me all day, every day. I find little time to read long works of fiction or non-fiction. I switched to reading short stories and essays to better fit the time I could make. With poets like Stafford and Merwin, I find I can squeeze in an intense session in just a couple of minutes, reading that peels away the layers of my life, my self.

Who did I think was listening
when I wrote down the words
in pencil at the beginning
words for singing
to music I did not know
and people I did not know
would read them and stand to sing them
already knowing them
while they sing they have no names – from From the Start

Bangalore Impressions, Part 4: Wormholes

Wormhole is a tunnel between two points in spacetime, one of the possible outcomes of Einstein’s general theory of relativity. Wormholes lend scientific credence to time travel and interstellar travel within the relatively short life span of humans, or even shorter spans of a dramatic event. Widely adopted by science fiction writers everywhere, wormholes have never been discovered. They’re looking in the wrong place, if you ask me. If they looked for wormholes in India, instead of in space, they’d easily find them. I found a few during this recent visit to India.

Wormholes in Places

Before we returned to the US from our two year sojourn in India, back in 2006, Shanthala and I visited Rajasthan. We had yearned to visit the place for just about as long as we’ve known each other. The visit was the swan song of our stay. We visited the famous forts and palaces, probably the best preserved monuments in India (which may explain why Rajasthan is India’s numero uno tourist destination with foreigners). Something stirred deep inside me when I saw the armour worn by Rana Pratap, a famous Rajput king who loomed large in my history classes, the ancient mechanisms of measuring time, the movements of the planets, the chairs on which Nehru and Sardar Patel sat as the king of Rajasthan signed the agreement to integrate Rajasthan into India. In fort after fort, I saw the gilded rooms they lived in, the well preserved beds of the kings and queens slept in, the cradles their babies slept in. In Jaipur, I saw enormous jugs used to store holy water for one of the king’s journey to England and back and an intricate yet simple scheme by which they kept the interiors cool even in the summers of the arid desert they lived in.

Mehrangarh Fort, Early Morning, Jodhpur

During the tour of the beautiful fort in Jodhpur, I asked our guide, “What about the ordinary people ? Is there a tour I can take to see what their lives were like ?”.

“Just look outside”, he replied, gesturing to the blue houses outside the window, “Visit any of the poorer sections of the city today and the way they live now is not very different from how their ancestors lived hundreds of years ago”.

Blue City, Jodhpur

Wormholes. That’s what he was saying. A small step to the left instead of the right and you’re back in time, centuries ago, the narrow lane bypassed by most of the modernity the middle class take for granted. I heard echoes of that answer during this visit. Stuck on a congested arterial road, the driver took a turn into one of the many alleys to get past the jam. As we moved through the alleys, I saw houses that seemed to have not felt the effects of the economic boom that Bangalore is an epicenter of, houses that probably ran to ancient rhythms, where electricity and running water were as miraculous today as they were, say three-quarters of a century ago. Yes, the people living there probably own a TV, running off pirated cables and electricity, but are their lives vastly different from that of people long ago, I wondered. Maybe the people in urban settings receive a little more of the benefits of modern life compared to those who live in rural areas.

As I traveled by train to my in-laws place, the pastoral vistas combined with the rocking of the train, lulling my senses. I wondered if the scene outside looked vastly different from what I had seen as a child. At one of the stations, the train stopped for a while, waiting to let a train in the opposite direction pass. As I looked outside, I saw a group of people, working on the tracks, with shovels and picks, hauling the earth away in little containers balanced on their head. No heavy machinery in sight. Did their ancestors work any differently, I wondered.

A Railway Station Platform, Somewhere, India

Wormholes in Practice

A solar eclipse fell on one of the days we were in India. Unaware of the ramifications that an eternal  dance between the moon and the sun would have on my ephemeral stomach, I sauntered down to lunch at the usual time. I was living with my in-laws at the time.

“Lunch”, I demanded, “Maya is hungry too, by the way”, I said.
“According to traditional Brahmin custom, we’re not supposed to cook until the eclipse is over”, my mother-in-law replied, “You’ll just have to wait till 3 pm or so”.

I was flabbergasted. Not cook ? Worse still, they had to bathe before they cooked. Surely this was some strange custom that only my in-laws followed. No. My parents were in the same boat as were some restaurants in town and most people. I later found out that some colleagues at work had followed a similar rule, not eating till the eclipse was over. Customs millenia old hang around the houses, the primordial, demon-haunted world reaching through the wormholes of custom to extract their sacrifices from the present.

I slipped into a wormhole again whenever I walked into any high end restaurant. The music that played softly overhead was the music that I had listened to during my college days, the music of the late 80s: “The Final Countdown” by Europe, “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor, “Walk of Life” by Dire Straits, “Lady in Red” by Chris De Burgh, “I Just Called To Say I Love You” by Stevie Wonder, “Hello” by Lionel Richie  and on and on, even the same muzak: piano pieces by Richard Clayderman. When I met friends from my first job, back in 1990, I could easily imagine that we were the same, stuck in 1990. I was Rip Van Winkle, except that I awoke twenty years in the past.

A Personal Wormhole

Another day, the driver took a different route on the way to meet a friend, and I went down a personal wormhole. The street had changed a lot, was almost unrecognizable from the one I had haunted as a child, but I knew the lay of the land. We were on the street my grandparents had lived on. As we reached the corner that their house was on, I asked him to stop. I got out and took a few pictures.

The house has changed. Where the garage is, there used to be Sampige tree. My mother and her sister, my cousin and I, my sister and I, we all at different times, spent hot summer afternoons under the shade of that tree. The upstairs construction now has upstaged the terrace my cousin and I would play on. But the main door downstairs and the windows had not changed. I longed to go in and peep in through them, to relive the happy days I spent there.

We inevitably arrived when school was in full swing, my father’s work and his inability to let us go there by ourselves making the summer vacation to slide past. My cousin’s school was nearby. I would rush to his school and inform the teacher that my cousin had to leave for a family emergency, that his mother had asked me to inform the teacher and take my cousin home. I was so cocky and the times were so innocent that my cousin would be allowed to go. He would be half-thrilled to see me and half-scared that if his father found out, he’d be in for a beating.

My mother’s sister’s only son, he was my closest cousin and I treasured our times together. He lived with our grandparents during the week and went home to his parents, who lived in another part of the town,  over the weekend. With him home from school, our days were just packed. We’d eat together, bathe together, play together and not sleep in the afternoon together. My father was busy at work all day and so there was no one to force me to slumber the hot afternoons away. We played all kinds of games together, but my favorite was cops and robbers. The robbers usually came in for a thrashing and inevitably, I was the good cop and my cousin, younger to me by a few years, was the villain. I was Rajkumar, the Kannada matinee idol and he was Vajramuni, the Kannada matinee villain. “Ajji, save me”, my cousin would yelp from behind the closed door where I was delivering poetic justice.

Someone else owns the house now, it is not even in our family. I never had a sense of a place as home while I was growing up, thanks to my father’s nomadic work life. But this place. This place was as close to home as I could ever be in those days. I wondered as I stood in front of the house that day, snapping this picture, would I consider buying back this house, if I could. Empty the place of its inhabitants, restore it to its old days, put my grandfather’s books back, his bed back, restore the wood fired heater in the bathroom. Walk with ghosts and bathe in my memories.

I got back in the car and the driver said that he had to stop for gas. When he stopped at a gas station, another wormhole appeared. We were smack opposite the hospital I was born in. That hospital hasn’t changed its appearance from when my mother first showed it to me. I wonder now why I had not shown any interest in it. What floor was I born on ? What ward ? What color were the sheets ? Am I getting sentimental, I wondered.

My parents have preserved the original letter that my grandfather sent to my father announcing my arrival. Typewritten, addressed to my father in another town, it says “Mother and child are quite safe, absolutely no cause for even the least anxiety.” I was still unnamed, as was the custom then.

This wormhole is fading though. There are signs of construction, of the hospital expanding, maybe the facade will change. The next time I pass by, maybe it will no longer remind me of where I came from.

Each visit to Bangalore is a renewal of memories, memories that are over four decades old. As a child, Bangalore was the only steady rock I could anchor myself to as I was tossed around in a sea of small towns. As I age, I’ve anchored myself to a different rock, a rock far, far away from Bangalore. We’re not salmons or penguins, journeying against daunting odds to the place of our birth, to spawn and die. But we evolved from them. An echo of that dream maybe lives on in us, especially we emigres.

At times now from some margin of the day
I can hear birds of another country
not the whole song but a brief phrase of it
out of a music that I may have heard
once in a moment I appear to have
forgotten for the most part that full day
no sight of which I can remember now
though it must have been where my eyes were then
that knew it as the present while I thought
of somewhere else without noticing that
singing when it was there and still went on
whether or not I noticed now it falls
silent when I listen and leaves the day
and flies before it to be heard again
somewhere ahead when I have forgotten – Far Company by W.S. Merwin

Thread And Needle

Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its color. – W.S. Merwin

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