Blog Archives

I Still Don’t Understand…

Mind Hacks, one of the blogs I frequent, put out a link to this article by the British Psychological Society, asking a some leading psychologists to write a few words about the one thing that they still don’t understand about themselves. I found their words a mix of the interesting and mundane, some even disappointing. Some common themes echoed by more than one psychologist are:

Time Management: Why do we indulge in magical thinking (wishing will make it so) when it comes to taking on additional work or estimating how long any activity will take ? Why do we overcommit ?

Knowledge and Realization: Despite having published many articles on the subject, why do these psychologists fail to apply the conclusions of that research to their own lives ? As Norbert Schwarz puts it: “What makes the immediate experience so powerful that I fail to apply my own theorizing until some blogger asks a question that brings it to mind? “

The Nature of Individual Differences: Why are some of us better at some things and not others ? Have more self-control and discipline about some activities, but not others ? Why do two children growing up in the same household turn out so different ?

I was underwhelmed by the statement of Alison Gopnik, a leading developmental psychologist in the news recently:
“I’ve had three of my own children and spent my professional life thinking about children. And yet I still find my relation to my children deeply puzzling. Our love for children is so unlike any other human emotion. … We are totally devoted to them when they are little and yet the most we can expect in return when they grow up is that they regard us with bemused and tolerant affection. We are ambitious for them, we want them to thrive so badly. And yet we know that we have to grant them the autonomy to make their own mistakes.”

I was also puzzled by her statement: I fell in love with my babies so quickly and profoundly, almost completely independently of their particular qualities. And yet 20 years later I was (more or less) happy to see them go – I had to be happy to see them go.”

That she could not be attribute this to culture surprised me. In India and many other non-First world countries, parents live in extended families with their children or at least close enough that they’re never far away from their children and they’re happy with that arrangement. And in the case of parents of immigrants like us, the sadness at not seeing their children and grandchildren frequently and being a more integrated part of our lives is as great as the distance that separates us, nay much greater.

A funny observation is made by Richard Wiseman: “My guess is that the creation of comedy will remain a mystery for centuries, although at some point in the not too distant future, I suspect someone will carry out functional MRI scans of comedians creating jokes, and claim to have identified the part of the brain responsible for producing humour. Now, that will be funny.”

Powered by ScribeFire.

Lying

“All kids lie. Almost all kids will experiment with lying at least by the age of four. And if they start when they’re younger, you might think, oh no, my kid’s lacking morality. Actually, it’s a sign of their nascent intelligence because it’s more complicated to hold in your head, as a child, the truth and an alternative reality and then try to sustain that alternative reality.”

Wouldn’t it be parent heaven if the kids listened to us as they grew up ? That we didn’t have to deal with the self-assertion and rebellion of the terrible twos ? That we didn’t have to worry what are our children lying about ? That there were no sibling rivalry ? That we didn’t have to deal with being alienated during the teenage angst ?

From an evolutionary perspective, each of these stages have a reason for their existence. Sometime between years 1 and 2, a child begins to understand that what she wants is not necessarily what her caregivers want her to have. She begins to learn that she is a different individual than her caregiver. Till then, usually the baby and the caregiver are one, with the caregiver tending to just about every thing the child demands.

With co-author Ashley Merryman, Po Bronson – whose article on praising kids I wrote about a few entries ago – explores some of these issues in a new book called “Nurture Shock: New Thinking About Children”.

Po Bronson says that teaching kids that telling the truth doesn’t always have negative repercussions is better at curbing lying than telling them that they would be punished if they lied. He says in an interview on NPR (National Public Radio):

Well, 78 percent of American parents think that their teenagers can tell them anything. But the teens completely disagree, because while the average teen might be lying to their parents about 12 of the 36 common topics, even the teens who lie the least are still lying. They’re lying about five topics out of the 36.

Parents today imagine that there’s a tradeoff between being strict and being permissive and that the benefit of some permissiveness is honesty, that you’re going to hear the truth and not be kept in the dark. So you’ll be able to help. The science says that those permissive parents do not hear more truth from their kids.

And the best way to hear truth from kids is to set a few rules, consistently enforce them and then this is one that’s going to sound controversial, Robert, parents who negotiate occasionally with their teens. We need to see that some arguing with parents, a moderate amount of argument is actually a good thing, not a bad thing. That arguing is a sign of respect, not of disrespect.

Because to the teenager, they have two choices: telling the truth and leading to an argument or just outright lying. Arguing over the actual rules is a better alternative and very different thing than arguing over your authority as a parent to set rules at all.

White lies are a fundamental fabric of our contemporary society. Children, who learn so much by imitating, can’t distinguish between the social white lie that we so casually utter and the lie that we get so upset with them about. What’s worse is we initiate them into the habit of lying. “Don’t ask for more even if you’re hungry, it’s not polite”.

A recent book on lying called “The Liar In Your Life” by Robert Feldman delves into this habit of lying. The startling fact is how much we lie and are lied to and how difficult it is for us to separate fact from fiction. Based on his research, Feldman concludes that most people lie at least thrice in a 10 minute conversation (other studies which have concluded similarly). He also says that most people don’t know that they’re lying and that his participants had to watch the videotapes of their conversations to realize how much they were lying. “It’s nice to meet you”, “How are you”, lies roll off our tongue thick and fast. And we’re not alone. The animal kingdom is replete with deception. That most of us seem to gravitate almost naturally towards that right amount of lying that make us good spouses, good citizens without tipping overboard into sociopaths is a sign to me that deception has deep biological roots.

Lying has more beneficial advantages than just being a social grease. Studies have shown that depressed people are far more honest about themselves and what they can control than non-depressed people. “Fake it till you feel it” or “Fake it till you make it” are gospel among those who teach courses on succeeding, building self-confidence or building hard-to-build new habits such as exercising. Placebos have been known to work in place of real medicine.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that we ought to lie all the time. Trust is a key element in any good relationship. Cry wolf too much and no one will believe you and you’ll become somewhat of a social pariah. Feldman says that lying is much more easier and permissible in contemporary culture. For example, a study by Josephson Institute, a non-profit studying ethical issues, found that 64% of students cheated during a test, up from 60% in 2006. We live in a culture where the pressure to succeed, to be overachievers, is relentless and starts just about immediately after birth. We speak with awe everytime our little one reaches a milestone faster than the average. “Oh, my daughter started speaking when she was 10 months old”, “She has the vocabulary of a five year old” and on and on and on. Lying is one way to blow off some of that pressure. Credit card debt is another lie, an illusion that we have more than we really do, driven by a desire to acquire material artifacts in larger numbers than ever before in history, with a view that with their acquisition, comes happiness. Dealing with honesty also requires time and commitment, two items in scarce quantity in our lives today. No wonder our culture encourages and eases deception.

As a parent, these questions and issues take on a larger relevance and urgency than when I was not a parent. Learning to encourage honesty by not shooting the messenger, actively encouraging debate and disagreement, but also promoting conflict resolution may benefit Maya. But books like Po Bronson’s seem to raise doubts on folklore such as permissive parents will hear more of the truth from their kids.

Honesty, is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty, is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you – Billy Joel

(P)raising Kids

My sister sent me a link to a recent article published in New York Magazine, “How Not to Talk to Your Kids”. The article is based on the work of a Stanford psychologist, Carol Dweck, about the effect of praising your kids. She found that if kids were praised for their effort, they were willing to take up much harder challenges than if they were praised for being smart or somehow naturally talented. In other words, praising them for what they did rather than what they were thought to be, resulted in happier kids, kids willing to raise up to a challenge.

Why did this happen ? According to Carol Dweck, “When we praise children for their intelligence, we tell them that this is the name of the game: Look smart, don’t risk making mistakes.”

The article further states: “Scholars from Reed College and Stanford reviewed over 150 praise studies. Their meta-analysis determined that praised students become risk-averse and lack perceived autonomy. The scholars found consistent correlations between a liberal use of praise and students’ “shorter task persistence, more eye-checking with the teacher, and inflected speech such that answers have the intonation of questions.”

Carol Dweck has written a book about her work, “Mindset“, and even has a website devoted to the subject. Dividing the world into two camps (ever since Descartes, it seems that the West is forever carving up the world into two camps): those with a “fixed mindset” and those with a “growth mindset”. From the website:

In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success—without effort. They’re wrong.

In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment. Virtually all great people have had these qualities.

Coincidentally, I was talking with a friend of mine who mentioned that he had heard about a research on the radio in which they found that kids who were praised for being smart were found to lie more often to not disabuse the belief that they were smart.

Not picking up harder challenges to avoid the cognitive dissonance that arises should they fail at accomplishing the task, lying to calm the cognitive dissonance already awakened, all because they were praised for being smart. For a long time, I was haunted by the passages in Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged that described the brilliance of one of the main protagonists, Francisco D’Anconia. How I longed to be that brilliant. To effortlessly master a task. Here I was, bumbling my way through life.

Growing up, I learnt quite quickly that getting into my parents’ good books was easy if I topped the class. Everytime I stood first in the class, smiles were aplenty from my mom and my dad. If I came in second, I was grilled about what I did wrong, who had beaten me, to study their weaknesses and beat them the next time around. While they did say “Don’t worry, study harder and come first the next time, you’re smart”, it was quite evident that what mattered was coming first. In the Indian school system with monthly tests, quarterly and annual exams, there were lots of opportunities either win their affection or lose it.

Unconsciously, I equated being loved to being the first in whatever I did, beating everybody else. Inadvertently, my parents had pushed me into the comparison game, a game at which satisfaction was always transitory. It was like attempting to overtake vehicles on a highway; there was always somebody else ahead to overtake. It was exhausting.

In my attempt to top the class, I took to rote memorization of the subject. Sometimes, if I was very tense, I’d mix up the question and answer at first and had to work extra hard to undo the mistake and still finish the exam on time. To this day, I can expound on evolution, neuroscience and network protocols, but my basic physics is practically nil as is my basic chemistry and math. I memorized the rules without ever understanding them enough to know when to apply them in everyday life. It is a constant source of amusement to Shanthala who says that I got into college without ever passing through school.

This attempt to top the class also made me very competitive and jealous of anybody who could beat me at the game. It was in Davangere that I first learnt that there are other ways of learning, of being. When I topped the class the first time, Shanthala and another friend congratulated me enthusiastically. Surprised at what seemed like genuine praise, I asked them, “Are you not even a little jealous that I beat you to it ?”. Dumbfounded, they said no. I couldn’t believe my ears.

With the growing years, this urge to compete at everything, the urge to win every argument, to have the last word, made me a fairly abrasive individual. How I made the good friends that I have, I’ll never know.

I was never happy with where I was. Happiness and peace were always ahead of me, never with me. One day, a few years back, I was biking to work. A kid was biking ahead of me. He turned and saw me, and decided to peddle hard to stay ahead. Automatically, I picked up my pace and raced past the kid, who looked sad as I effortlessly passed him. A little later, I was horrified at what I had done.

I was talking to a close friend at work, many years my senior, about my competitive reflex. He told me a story that happened when he was new in the industry, and working at one of US’ premier research labs in computer science. His boss had just been listed by the Time magazine as one of the top 25 innovators in the country. The week after that article had come out, they were in a meeting with one of the gods of computer science, of distributed computing. My friend, Michael, told me how his boss, a publicly acknowledged paragon of brightness and innovation, stammered and fumbled through the meeting because he wanted this established figurehead to think that he was smart.

I was the same. I realized that if I didn’t give up this quest to top everybody and everything, I’d die unhappy, unsatisfied, malcontent. Since that day, I’ve worked to enjoy what I do, to focus on the process and not the end result.

I had resolved very early on that in raising Maya, I would never focus on the end result, only on the process. The research by Carol Dweck indicates that praising for what you do as opposed to what qualities you possess is another parenting mistake to avoid.

Superheroes and The Banality of Evil

In the movie The Dark Knight, the widely acclaimed and chart busting top grosser of last year, Batman’s closest confidante, his butler Alfred, describes the nature of the villain, The Joker thus: “Some men aren’t looking for anything logical. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.”

Batman does some unacceptable, and in my mind unheroic, things in his attempt to catch the Joker and save people from the mayhem that the Joker unleashes. Things such as torturing the Joker in an attempt to extract crucial information related to saving the life of someone close to him and widescale, warrantless surveillance. Some raved at how well these choices were shown, that they weren’t shown in black and white terms. But, the viewer had to concede that they were eventually acceptable because the movie intones several times (though not so in your face) that Batman is the hero who does the “right thing” even if it is not the culturally or legally acceptable thing. That they were acceptable because of the nature of the Joker, a man who just wanted to watch the world burn, a man to whom normal rules don’t apply.

Clint Eastwood, my favorite childhood Hollywood actor, did similar things in “Dirty Harry” because the villain (Scorpio in that case) was portrayed as a madman, randomly shooting people to spread terror and extract a ransom from the city. Villains in James Bond movies are also shown as madmen, willing to destroy anything that stands in their way of taking over the world. In Sholay (and in countless other Bollywood movies), the villain of villains, Gabbar Singh, is shown as a sadistic dacoit, willing to terrorize innocent villagers.

This depiction of villains as madmen, men who committed deeds well beyond the knell of acceptable, which therefore justified the unbelievable acts of violence unleashed against them by the heroes, has a long history in many cultures. In Indian mythology, demonic emperors such as Ravana, evil uncles such as Kamsa are shown as “being evil”. It is in their nature. Superheroes (and gods) exist because they have to battle such super villains.

In real life, people such as Adolf Hitler and Pol Pot are similarly portrayed as evil men, men who are the way they are because it is in them. While biographers may chart the lives of such people, in popular conception, they are just evil incarnates, nothing can explain things such as the Holocaust or Year Zero. Attempts to explain their actions are decried because they are seen as justifying the acts.

This view of things, of looking at people’s seemingly innate character as an explanation of their actions, has always struck me as being unsatisfactory and incomplete; maybe because the engineer in me hopes for solutions and no solutions can be found if people are simply evil. But this simple division of people into black and white, good and evil seems too simplistic. Gandhi’s view that we are each a mix of good and evil seemed more real to me. Jesus seemed to speak similarly when he asks only men who have not sinned to stone the prostitute they condemn to death by stoning. M.C.Escher’s famous painting depicts this incrementalist view, of angels springing forth from demons and vice-versa (picture courtesy of http://www.hnorthrop.com/escher.html).


Is there any evidence for this incrementalist view ? If we’re each a mixture of good and evil, then what makes some men commit despicable acts while most of us seem like good, law abiding humans ?

In 1963, the Yale psychologist Stanley Milgram, conducted his landmark “Obedience to Authority” experiment, in which ordinary people were shown capable of subjecting others to shocking acts of violence in obedience to authority. Volunteers were divided into two groups, teachers and learners. Unknown to the teachers, only they were the real volunteers and the learners were actually part of the research team. A researcher provided word pairs to the teacher and told them to first read the word pairs aloud to the learner. After this, the teacher was asked to question the learner by reading the first word of a word pair and asking the learner to pick the corresponding word of the pair from one of the four provided choices. Each time the learner provided the wrong answer, the teacher had to administer an electric shock to the learner. The intensity of the shock increased each time the learner gave the wrong answer. The teachers were also administered a sample shock before the experiment began to make them feel the pain of the punishment. During the test, the learners would deliberately answer incorrectly in an effort to see how much shock the teachers were willing to administer. The learners were kept in a separate room from the teachers. Unknown to the teachers, when they twirled the dial administering the shock, no real shock was actually subjected upon the learners. But the learners yelped, moaned and pleaded in agony before seemingly lapsing into unconscious so that the teachers were aware of the consequence of their administering the shock. The result of the experiment was that most people were willing to administer the shocks despite the pleading of the learners and were willing to administer lethal doses (the dial indicated the voltage) of shocks. Those who wanted to stop when they heard the painful cries, continued when asked to do so by a monitoring researcher.

So, what makes authority figures whose demands make us indulge in such behavior ? In 1971, Philip Zimbardo carried out the now famous Stanford Prison Experiment. He and his associates selected twenty four graduate students from a volunteer pool at the university and randomly assigned them to be either prisoners or guards. These students were selected for their lack of criminal record and of sound mind and body. All came from white, middle class families. A prison was constructed and the guards were asked to maintain the prison. In less than a week, guards and prisoners adopted to their roles and the guards indulged in shocking acts of violence against the prisoners. One third of the guards indulged in acts that were considered sadistic. Zimbardo terminated the experiment six days after it began. Most of the guards were upset that the experiment was terminated early.

The lesson Zimbardo drew is that many of us can descend into violence due to just role playing. That the guards began to abuse their power because that’s how they thought guards ought to be, and the prisoners soon accepted their treatment more acceptingly because they felt like victims. Some questioned the breadth of this conclusion.

In 2002, two professors in UK in collaboration with BBC, attempted to duplicate the Stanford Prison Experiment. They reached different conclusions, but the conclusions did not seem to detract from the fundamental point that individuals do not work in isolation, but as part of a larger ecosystem and that different ecosystems engender different behaviors in individuals. In a paper published in 2005 titled “Psychology of Tyranny”, they write: “In general terms, we concur with Sherif, Milgram, Zimbardo and others that tyranny is a product of group processes, not individual pathology. …. We believe that people at every level of the group help to foster a collective culture of hate and are responsible for its consequences. … When a social system collapses, people will be more open to alternatives, even those that previously seemed unattractive. Moreover, when the collapse of a system wreaks such havoc that a regular and predictable social life becomes impossible, the promise of a rigid and hierarchical order becomes more alluring.”

A paper published in 2008, based on this experiment, identifies five steps in the creation of collective hate which enables people to carry out sickening acts: (i) Identification, the construction of an ingroup; (ii) Exclusion, the definition of targets as external to the ingroup; (iii) Threat, the representation of these targets as endangering ingroup identity; (iv) Virtue, the championing of the ingroup as (uniquely) good; and (v) Celebration, embracing the eradication of the outgroup as necessary to the defence of virtue.

Philip Zimbardo has written a book, “The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil”, about the Stanford Prison Experiment, the lessons drawn from this and its application to real life incidents such as Abu Ghraib. He talks about how this tendency to seek answers for sadistic or heroic behavior in people underlies much of of how our world functions today: the legal system, medicine, psychology and even religion. They’re based on answers to questions of “who”. People like Zimbardo belong to a group of people called social psychologists who instead ask “what” questions: “What conditions contributed to the behavior, what circumstances, what was the situation. Social psychologists ask to what extent can an individual’s behavior be traced to factors outside the actor, to situational variables and environmental processes unique to a given setting ?”

Zimbardo also says that the “who” approach to evil allows “good people” to get themeselves off the hook. He writes: “They’re freed from even considering their possible roles in creating, sustaining, perpetuating, or conceding to the conditions that contribute to delinquency, crime, vandalism, teasing, bullying, rape, torture, terror and violence. ‘It’s the way of the world, and there’s not much that can be done to change it, certainly not by me.’”. Popular reaction to terrorist acts such as the WTC attack on 9/11 or the recent Mumbai attack show this kind of thinking in real life. We, ordinary citizens are not responsible for the violence unleashed by the terrorists. It is in their nature (or in this case, their religion). It is what allows us to attack Afghanistan and Iraq without a troubled conscience.

People like Hitler and Pol Pot do not arise in a vaccuum. Hitler rose in the ruins of post-WWI Germany, because of Germans ravaged by the unbearable war reparations thrust by the winners of WWI, and rampant anti-Semitism in Europe made it easy for the creation of an out-group to blame for all the problems. Hitler probably believed that he was achieving some good by his actions. George W Bush to this day proclaims that the invasion of Iraq was good because he rid the Iraqi people, nay the world, of a madman, Saddam Hussein.

In the Dark Knight, Joker tells Batman that he doesn’t want to kill him because they complete each other, as if without one, there would be no need for the other. In Dorothy Rowe’s book, “Friends and Enemies: Our Need To Love and Hate”, she quotes Martin Bell of BBC: “The American government seemed to crave tinpot dictators, whether it was Ayatollah Khomeini, Saddam Hussein, Noriega, Ortega in Nicaragua – and all these became hate figures. It was almost as if they needed them. Americans needed someone to denounce. They needed someone against whom they could parade their American values. I found it the same with Serbs. They believed themselves to be a heroic people and they needed a dark background against which to shine. They would if necessary create that darkness themselves”.

Richard Hofstadter writes in “The Paranoid Style in American Politics”: “The enemy is clearly delineated: he is a perfect model of malice, a kind of amoral superman: sinister, ubiquitous, powerful, cruel, sensual, luxury-loving. Unlike the rest of us, the enemy is not caught in the toils of the vast mechanism of history, himself a victim of his past, his desires, his limitations. He is a free, active, demonic agent. He wills, indeed he manufactures, the mechanism of history himself, of deflects the normal course of history in an evil way. He makes crises, starts runs on banks, causes depressions, manufactures disasters, and then enjoys and profits from the misery he has produced. The paranoid’s interpretation of history is in this sense distinctly personal: decisive events are not taken as part of the stream of history, but as the consequences of someone’s will”. The Joker is a perfect example of such an enemy. The history of superheroes is filled with villains that fit this description to a T.

The world seems to be slipping into a chaos where the loudest voices are those proclaiming the supremacy of their specific in-group (be it religion or nation-state or language or culture), its inherent goodness and the need for defense against other not-so-good out-groups. In a world where natural resources are being depleted rapidly and where the near exhaustion of essentials as water, food and clean air has the potential to fuel more and more conflicts, it is left to us to decide the kind of world we want our children to inherit. To do so however requires us to question much of our world view, especially those which encourage us to construct arguments based on “who” instead of “what”, of enemies who just want to watch the world burn.

It is time for all the heroes to go home
if they have any, time for all of us common ones
to locate ourselves by the real things
we live by. – William Stafford

Of New Years And Their Resolutions

On new year’s day, I awoke to a gray dawn. A gray that continued well into the afternoon, a gray that seemed portentous of the future of the coming year, given the global economic morass. A gray, I hope, not of the coming presidency.

A few days back, on NPR’s Science Friday, Ira Flatow interviewed a clinical psychologist, Dr. John Norcross about the nature of new year resolutions. I was astonished by Dr. Norcross’s statement that between 40 and 46 percent of those who make resolutions, succeed in keeping their resolution beyond six months. I had expected a far smaller number. Sure enough, a brief search revealed a December 2007 article in the British paper, The Telegraph, that another professor, a Dr. Richard Wiseman found that only 12 percent of the people were successful in keeping their resolution. Dr. Wiseman tracked about 3000 people who participated via the Internet – some 60 percent in the UK and the rest in the US – for around a year to arrive at his conclusion. Are the British worse off than their American counterparts in keeping resolutions ? Further search revealed a study published by Dr. Norcross in which when success was measured over a longer period, 2 years, the success rate to be only 19 percent. Dr. Wiseman’s experiment, by the way, is still open and you can join here.

I was struck by one of Dr. Wiseman advice’s: women and men must pursue different strategies, if they’re to be successful in their resolutions. He said that women were more likely to succeed when they revealed their resolutions to their social circle and were encouraged to not give up in the face of minor setbacks; men were more likely to succeed when their goals were simple and specific, rather than vague. His observation was that men are unrealistic about their expectations and so benefit from setting simple, specific goals. His mantra for succeeding in setting goals were:

  • Make only one resolution
  • Plan the resolution ahead of time. Don’t wait till the new year’s eve to come up with a goal.
  • Make new resolutions, don’t repeat previous resolutions as this will set you up for frustration
  • Men, be specific about your goals and keep them simple. Women, tell others about your resolution.
  • Make the goal personal such as being attractive to women rather than just losing weight.

What about Dr. Norcross ? What words of wisdom did he have for those who made new year resolutions ? He recommends the same set as the one Dr. Wiseman, except that he doesn’t provide any gender-specific advice. He advices publicizing your goal, keeping it simple and specific to everyone, not just a specific gender. He also recommends to not let a slip get in the way of keeping at the resolution. He quotes a study that observed that 71 percent of successful resolvers said that they felt even stronger about pursuing their goal after their first stumble. Finally, he recommends changing environments to break old habits, to not go to the bakery if you want to avoid eating sweets. Another fascinating statistic that he provides is that of those who tried to change but didn’t make a resolution, only 4 percent were successful at the end of six months. So, the chance of success increases tenfold if one makes a resolution compared to not making one!

In an article published back in 1992, in the American Psychologist, Dr. Norcross, suggests that there are five stages to making a change (what’s with this preoccupation with five in the psychology community ? five stages of change, five stages of grief ?): pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action and maintenance. Dr. Norcross suggests that those who make a resolution and make it public are well into the fourth stage of making a change and hence have a better chance of making a change compared to those who didn’t make a resolution. I suspect that for this to be true, people who make resolutions must be those who had them ready well before new year’s eve.

The brain physically changes when we learn new habits. The neurons in the prefrontal cortex and basal ganglia, two main actors in the learning process, show visible changes as new habits are acquired. The changes are so permanent, at least in the basal ganglia, that once acquired, they cannot be forgotten. They can lay dormant for a while, but when the right cues are provided, the old, long forgotten neuronal patterns fire again, and the prodigal son returns. Dr. Ann Graybiel and her team at MIT discovered this back in 2005. They also found that it was not possible to reverse the process i.e. to unlearn. The right cues caused the neurons that had changed in response to the learning to fire again. This explains why habits are so hard to break, why it is important to not recreate situations that cause the old habit to trigger again, to not go to the bakery if you to curb that sweet tooth.

The brain has two ways of processing inputs: a slow, conscious way and a fast, automatic way. As anyone who’s learnt a skill such as roller blading or downhill skiing knows, the initial motions are forced, slow and jerky while once the skill has been learned, the motion is smooth, fluid and automatic. Habit forming is slow, requires constant reinforcement in the form of rewards and constant attention. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for executive control, inhibiting a thought from conversion to action. But this requires self control or will power. An article published in April 2008 in the New York Times, says that willpower is like a muscle: there is only so much it can do before it fatigues. From the article:

The brain’s store of willpower is depleted when people control their thoughts, feelings or impulses, or when they modify their behavior in pursuit of goals. Psychologist Roy Baumeister and others have found that people who successfully accomplish one task requiring self-control are less persistent on a second, seemingly unrelated task.

For example, if you do not want to drink too much at a party, then on the way to the festivities, you should not deplete your willpower by window shopping for items you cannot afford. Taking an alternative route to avoid passing the store would be a better strategy.

This is one reason why new habits are so hard to form and why it is essential to keep the resolutions simple, specific and single. The good news of the same study, however, is that like muscles, willpower can be built up through exercise. A study speculates that even an exercise such as brushing your teeth with your other hand for two weeks can improve your willpower. And once willpower improves, it can be used to deal with more curbing other bad habits. The NYT article states that people who stuck to an exercise regimen for two months also reported reducing impulsive spending, alcohol and junk food consumption and smoking. While the reason for the increase in willpower with practice is not well understood, the article speculates:

Perhaps neurons in the frontal cortex, which is responsible for planning behavior, or in the anterior cingulate cortex, which is associated with cognitive control, use blood sugar more efficiently after repeated challenges. Or maybe one of the chemical messengers that neurons use to communicate with one another is produced in larger quantities after it has been used up repeatedly, thereby improving the brain’s willpower capacity.

I cannot remember if I ever practiced making new year’s resolutions. The Dalai Lama once said, “There is no world peace without inner peace”. Inner peace continues to be my every year’s resolution, every day’s resolution. I, for one, wish inner peace to all peoples in the coming year.