One bright Friday morning about three weeks ago, Maya tumbled off the bed. I had left her for less than a minute on the bed to fetch a shirt from the closet. As I came out of the closet, I saw her dangling from the bed, like some miniature Spiderman, held momentarily in space by her tiny feet that were still on the bed. I shouted her name in terror as I sprinted the twenty feet or so between us. Startled by my shout, her feet let go and she fell down, hitting her head (or was it her neck) first on the carpeted floor. I reached her just as she hit the floor and picked her up before her entire body was on the floor. Terrified by the way I had shouted her name and how I was still shouting, she began to wail. I checked her head and neck to make sure that she was unhurt. A few seconds later, I calmed down and began to whisper her name softly and caress her. She calmed down quickly.
I was just a little late for work that morning and I didn’t want to keep my carpool partner waiting when he arrived. I didn’t imagine that she could move so quickly. I also made the mistake of leaving her on her belly, her favorite side to start her caterpillar motion. I told the nanny, Ginez, about what happened when she arrived a few minutes later. “She looks fine, don’t worry”, she said, “This happens to all kids. Don’t be upset”. But upset I was, terrified that something could’ve happened to Maya. I called her pediatrician and then hung up because I thought that they’d merely go through the motions of running an X-Ray, poking her in all the places and making a minor situation much worse for her. I considered calling in sick and staying with her to see if she was OK. Ginez persuaded me that all was well and that she’d call me if she noticed anything unusual. I did some cursory checks such as was she tracking properly, if her body balance was normal and that she wasn’t disoriented. Maya was laughing as if nothing had happened.
My knees felt weak the whole day. I called Ginez every hour or two to check if Maya was fine. When I called a close friend to share my panic, he laughed. I apologize for laughing at must be a scary incident for you, he said, but our kids have fallen off the bed and the dryer onto a hardwood floor and they’re fine. Other friends narrated similar incidents of their kids falling off beds, tables and diaper stands. Another tale of parenting that I had not been told about. This was for me the single most terrifying moment since Maya was born.
When we visited the doctor for her six month checkup, she weighed 17lbs, 10 oz and was 27.5 inches tall. Besides providing us with some safety information now that she had begun to move, the doctor wanted us to start putting her awake in a separate room, in her own crib, at night. “It is time for her to learn to stop bothering you. She needs to learn to sleep alone”, the doctor said. I started to retort, “And do you sleep alone or with your partner ? Why don’t you learn to sleep alone and stop bothering him”, but Shanthala smartly cut me off and said, “Sure, sure”. “She sleeps in the crib right now, correct ?”, the doctor continued and Shanthala said “Yes” cutting off my retort of “We all do”.
Maya has started to eat solids regularly now. She has half a small bowl of ragi (finger millet) porridge, twice a day. The porridge is made with very fine finger millet flour, some ghee (clarified butter) and just a now-you-see-it-now-you-dont pinch of sugar. After initially dribbling most of it down her face, Maya has learnt to swallow well. She sits in her little chair, flailing her feet wildly as we feed her. If we take a little more time than she likes in getting the next spoonful, she grabs our arm and pulls it towards her face. One time, Shanthala replaced the ghee with olive oil. Maya gave a “I’m an Indian kid, not Italian” look and refused to partake of the meal any further. We tried feeding her spinach and butternut squash which didn’t go as well. Avocados on the other hand fared much better. Lentils seemed to cause diarrhea and so we discontinued it after a couple of tries. It’s the protein in the lentils, Shanthala’s father said, that makes it hard to digest.
One of the recommendations from the book “The First Three Years” is a jumper. The book opines that infants start their spoiling cycle around this time, learning to cry for attention because they find that they can’t do much, an early case of “mind willing but body not”. Keeping them occupied is a way to avoid them from crying for attention, according to the book. A jumper is a little platform that is sometimes hung by a door and sometimes stands by itself, that infants can use to bounce off the floor. After a few times of figuring out how to use it, Maya now thoroughly enjoys using the jumper, spending upto a half hour jumping up and down, squealing with delight. She stopped caring for the play mat and so we just use the bed as a place for her to roam and try out her crawling skills.
I noticed that Maya seems capable of choosing a strategy when presented with a few choices. For example, if we drop a toy a little away from her, she figures out if rolling over to pick up the toy or doing her caterpillar motion is more efficient to get to it and then picks the more efficient one. The other day, I dropped the toy on another piece of cloth. She didn’t seem as interested in reaching for that toy and instead started pulling on the cloth to stuff it into her mouth. As she pulled the cloth, she noticed that the toy came closer to her until eventually she could reach it. So, that night she included this strategy into her repertoire for reaching a toy. She doesn’t seem to remember it long enough however. The next day, she didn’t remember to try pulling the cloth and resorted back to rolling over or caterpillaring her way to it.
Every month, Maya sleeps a little more at night. Without our forcing any schedule on her, she’s started to sleep by 9:30 PM and wake up by 7, 7:30 or even 8 AM sometimes. That gives us a little more free time in the nights, though it’s not much for Shanthala who typically has an early start at the hospital. We changed her feeding bottle, getting bigger ones with nipples that allow more milk to flow. She downs 7-8 ounces at a time, consuming 32-40 ounces a day. Her sleep routine continues to be rocking her to music. I try and mix it up and introduce new music as much as possible. Bossa nova, Brazilian Jazz, is the new genre as is Hindustani instrumental. Maya seems to really like Bebel Gilberto and Antonio Carlos Jobim. She falls asleep to most of this new music but not always. When the going gets tough, the tough put on Sade. Three songs of Sade and she’s out like a light. Dire Straits’ also seems to have a similar effect on her.
In July, Shanthala returned to work, initially for three days a week and without taking any overnight calls. In August, she started taking calls as well. But every Monday in July, Shanthala and I took advantage of the nanny being there and hung out by ourselves in the morning. We sat at cafes, ran errands and had lunch at a restaurant. One day, we even went to the movies. We saw Dark Knight, since Batman was my favorite superhero when I was growing up. Every evening, we continue our summer evening ritual of walking with Maya in the sling. That is the one time she doesn’t interact much with us, intent on observing everything that’s going on around her as we walk.
Experienced parents tell us that this is the calm before the storm. That we must enjoy this time with her as much as we can because once she can move around, everything in the house becomes dangerous and she needs even more care and attention than she gets now. But right now, she’s just a compact bundle of happiness, laughing her way through life and into our hearts.
Update: Added video of Maya laughing. Video upload wasn’t working on the day I published this article.
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