Obviously, I did not know what age I was—those are guesses based on situations around me at the time, which I won’t go into here, since I did not have a concept of age or months. I also cannot mark out when I began verbalizing in language—there was no “moment” where I can tell you others began understanding me. But I remember understanding those around me before I could speak.

I severely doubt that Europeans have earlier memories than I do as an Asian person. In Hong Kong we had to sit an exam to enter kindergarten by 2½, where we had nightly homework. I had to have numeracy and literacy skills prior to starting that. I also had to sit an exam, solo, to enter Man Kee Kindergarten in Kowloon.

When I moved to New Zealand with my parents at age three, most of my contemporaries had not started school, and regular homework was not a reality for these kids till age five. Being a predominantly European society, there is less need for Europeans to practise their memory skills compared with Asians. Consequently, my European friends tend to tell me that their linear memories begin around five or six years—considerably later than nine months. In your case, you recall being three—again, far earlier than most Europeans.

Interestingly, the two people I have met in life, when discussing this topic, who can remember to before they were one, are European women. So there are exceptions, as there are for any race.

I dare say Maya will remember these times. Children are far cleverer than these so-called “experts” give them credit for. Whether Maya remembers these early days as flashes or in a linear fashion is hard to say, but these times may be more precious to her than you think. And that is a good thing because she will remember more of the love you have given to her.